The Spam Monster

This is for all of you have come under the threat of the spam monster. It has been quite a problem recently for several bloggers, our well intentioned comments not appearing on blogs…. So I wrote this little poem with that and Halloween in mind.

The Spam Monster

It’s all hallows eve,

You’ve no time for a pet peeve,

The wretched spam monster making curds,

Of your well thought out words.


He insidiously turns your comments into mush,

Sweeps them all away with a hot-wired brush,

He’s all wires and circuitry,

His gadgetry puts you into purgatory.


But, don’t fret, don’t worry, help is at hand,

The Happiness Engineers Askimet band,

Party together, they’ll help you out.

No need to storm, stamp, and shout!


Stick your perky pumpkin by your computer,

Light it with a ferocious candle to neuter,

That bloody spam monster with his big hooter,

Mr snooty, snotty, snooper.

© Marjorie Mallon 2016 – aka, Kyrosmagica. All Rights Reserved.

If you need any help with this problem Hugh has written a great post how to contact the Askimet engineers – here’s the link: Hughs Views And News: What To Do If your Comments Are Ending Up in Spam Folders

Bye for now,

Hope you liked the silly poem!



About Marje @ Kyrosmagica

Hi. Welcome to my blog, Kyrosmagica. A blog about magic, books, writing, laughter, and much more! I'm a debut writer in the process of finishing my first YA fantasy novel, set in Cambridge. I write book reviews on Net Galley and Goodreads. I have a penchant for travel and have relatives in far flung places, Australia, Malaysia, and Singapore, (my birthplace.) I grew up in in Bonnie Scotland, in Edinburgh, and now live in Cambridge. I love sunny, hot places, particularly Rome, Venice, Portugal, Barcelona, and I forgot to mention the sun drenched beaches of the Caribbean, how could I? I am lucky to have been blessed with two lovely daughters and a husband who I fondly refer to in this blog as my black sheep. Family joke! With my passion for travel, culture, beautiful beaches, good food, books, theatre, writing, and humour, I hope to keep you entertained. I'm loving every minute of this creative journey, please join me.
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34 Responses to The Spam Monster

  1. Gary says:

    Very good…although my first word association was to say….not dwelling on this particular annoyance are we Marje lol.

    Mind you, joking aside it is flipping annoying. If unnoticed it has the habit of making one feel totally ignored and filled with sadness. As I did after seeing your post a while back, checking my spam and finding a wonderful comment by you sitting there all on its own!


    • Thank you for being one of the ones to notice and kindly release me! Still traumatised, under sedation, much damage done!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Gary says:

        Terrible to hear Marje. The mind is a law unto itself upon matters that lead to solitary exile…something my blacksmith coukd empathise with in Dragon Stone.

        I do try hard to ensure an eye is kept open for old (as in time known rather than suggesting we are all ancient…just to be clear) blogging friends. Every now and then we all taste the aloneness in the mighty blogosphere we call home!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. willowdot21 says:

    Great poem, wicked spam monster!!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. wanderwolf says:

    This is cute. I hope the problem has been resolved for you? How did you find out your comments were missing?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Al Lane says:

    Haha! Much truth here ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A wonderful tribute to our archrival, Marje. I hope he’s released you now? Let’s hope he disappears after tonight.

    Thank you so much for the mention of my post.

    Happy Halloween.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Another Halloween post and this time a poem about the spam monster who has been visiting us all recently.. thanks Marje.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sue Vincent says:

    Brilliant, Marjorie!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. They contacted me after I posted a poem about this. Needless to say, nothing has been done and comments are still going to spam & trash. Sigh…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Fitting theme for halloween 😉 Oh that reminds me…
    gotta go check my spam folder! 🙂 💜 Jackie@KWH

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Why, As A Blogger, You Should Never Ignore Your Shadow #photography #BloggersBash – Hugh's Views & News

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